Directed by: Kent Alterman
Written by: Scot Armstrong
Produced by: Jimmy Miller
Running time: 1h 31min
Kristen Wiig as: Bear handler
Other cast: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin
The American Basketball Association is on the verge of collapse, and when a former NBA benchwarmer returns to his hometown of Flint, MI, to whip his former team into shape for the playoffs. Semi-Pro tells the tale of a 1970s-era basketball player who doesn’t have much luck in the NBA, but vows to leave his mark on the sport by coaching the Flint Tropics. When the upstart ABA league agrees to be absorbed by the NBA, only four teams will be allowed in. Jackie Moon must orchestrate a successful season both on the court, and financially off the court with the help of many odd promotional events, in order to remain in the sport he loves.
Bear handler: Are you guys ready?
Jackie Moon: Uh-huh.
Bear handler: Give me your safe-word.
Jackie Moon: I don’t need a safe-word.
Bear handler: Okay, I’ll tell you what. If you feel like you’re in danger, just say… uh… spumoni.
Jackie Moon: No, I don’t need spumoni. Let’s get this show on the road.
Bear handler: Hey! We’re both wearing red!
Jackie Moon: Sorry, I’m not ignoring you. I’m just trying to deal with him right now.
Bear handler: Oh…
Jackie Moon: I like your top hat, though.
Bear handler: Thanks. It was normal sized but I put it in the dryer.
Jackie Moon: How long have you been working with the bear?
Bear handler: Uh… Like a day or so.
Jackie Moon: What?
Bear handler: But I’ve been working with cats for like twelve years, so I’m very familiar with animals.